the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
