I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
