the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
