you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
