People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize