Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
