I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize