Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
