I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
