Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize