you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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