Ketchup is God's man juice
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
