OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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