Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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