hell yes lets make some ravioli
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
