I wish I could punch you in the face.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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