i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
