I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do vagina's smell?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
