His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
thus making me awesome and them whores
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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