My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
