I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
