So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
