someone get that fucking seahorse.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
