thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
