What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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