i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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