so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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