Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
