I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize