Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
