If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
