Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
