Actions speak louder than pants.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
