I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
