Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
