the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think I died a long time ago.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
