just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
