you traded sex for a burrito?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
