I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
