imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
