If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
