And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize