I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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