I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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