8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize