Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
