p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
