mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
they're like a gay fantastic four
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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