I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
