she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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