im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
