No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
