he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
