Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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