dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize