new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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