Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
