i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
