i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
