If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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