at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
