i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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