you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
