Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
