So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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