I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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