yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
