These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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