remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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