youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
