the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
