i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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