Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
