Sponge bath it is.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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