do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
