Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
