Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
