HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
where am i from again
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize