Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
