Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
