Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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